10 Tips to build those abs!

Good morning beez and beastettes,

I must admit, my posting duties have taken a back seat to many things.  I need to get back on it, and I will.  I will confess, I was a bit disappointed with all the work I put into the food issues, only to be ignored again by most of my personal clients.  But, it’s OK…the info is still there when you need it.  I am pleased to announce that there are at least 3 people that now avoid all this shit I mentioned.  If you have no idea what I am referencing, you should check it out….it’s a huge part of this next blog.

Ok, on with the show…How to get abs.  By now, I hope everyone realizes WE ALL HAVE ABS…you are born with abdominal muscles. The problem is; most of us are too fat to show them off…or even realize we have them.  Think about it like this; we all have a very nice car in the garage.  Before we can take it out, we need to remove the 19 car covers we have placed on it over the last few years.  You can wash and wax all you want, but the car cover will stay on.

So what to do?

1.  First, stop eating like a slob.  No…really.  It’s sad, pathetic, and just a mystery to me as to why you cannot string a few weeks together of good eating. You say you want to lose weight, you make goals, you shop for good food, you exercise….but for some damn reason, you always find yourself at some bar soaking up a dozen fattening beers over the weekend.  Or maybe no booze, just a HUGE pile of crap food at your favorite out to eat place.

But Mike, everyone does it…I can’t just stop. And to that I say, well my good sir, that is the reason there are so many 6 minute ab fixes, infomercials, diet pills, miracle fitness routines, and now even surgeries, that can fix your fat problem in record breaking time.

But, the pills just give you the shits, the machines collect dust, routines never work without a proper diet, and surgeries are for pussies…really, they are. Go get your damn ‘lap-band’ or whatever they’re called…don’t forget it calls for long term changes in your EATING HABITS…moron.  If it was perfectly ok and easy to eat whatever you wanted, and still get ripped abs…then we would all be movie stars.  If that happened, movie stars wouldn’t be so cool!  Think about it….and realize, you ain’t special!

Just a side note; had you not ignored the disgusting problem for so long…you wouldn’t need the damn surgery!!!

Before you move on to these ones, make sure you have the diet under control.  Seriously, stop being 9 years old…

2.  Overhead lifting. Push press is my favorite (but not doable yet) by far.  There are a few lifts that you can really feel your stomach being worked…and the push press is definitely one of them.

3.  Drag heavy shit. I prefer my tire sled, or my truck.  Whatever it is, use good form and square up your body.  Keep your back and stomach tight and the core will be fried.

4.  Swing a kettlebell. There is too much to get into here, but get your swing form down and do em’ like they’re going out of style.  You must remember to squeeze the butt and stomach at the bells high point.  Work the muscles over and over again…

5.  Do squats and dead lifts. I know, I know..they’re dangerous and they hurt your back.  Well, learn to do em right…try different variations, use lighter weight until you build yourself up, read a book, watch a video, hire someone who can teach you…practice makes it safe.  If your program doesn’t include these two lifts…it probably sucks.

6.  I am not going to advocate crunches, but leg lifts are good.  Partner leg lifts seem to be most effective.  Lying on your back, you hold your partners ankles and swing your legs up towards your partner.  Your partner will push them back towards the ground, while your try to keep them off the floor…squeeze your stomach and try to keep your knees straight as possible.  You will most likely feel it in your quads and stomach.  If your back starts to hurt, stop.

7.  The only ab device I use and like (I haven’t tried the wheel that straps to your feet yet) and is less than $10, is the ab wheel roller.  Start off slow with this thing, and make sure you have a wall in front of you…or you may end up hurting your shoulders and landing on your face!  It is not an arm exercise, bend at your waist and tighten while you crunch in.

8.  For ‘cardio’ type exercise, try running up hills.  I bet the hills make your hour long treadmill session feel like a walk in the park….and it’ll take about a third of the time. Hills.  Run hills.

9.  Instead of a group X hoopty hoo cardio class…try firing off 100 burpees as fast as possible. If the push up is no good for you, simply do an Up-Down burpee. (no push up)  Burpees are king of fat burning body weight exercises.

10.  Jump. If burpees aren’t an option… Box jumps are also huge for burning fat, and getting the abs involved.  Pick something high enough that your comfortable with and work your way up.  Don’t start too fast, and jump under control.  Scraped up shins, or a busted lip caused by an under estimated jump…is never a good time.  Never busted the lip, but I did have a good judgment error at 24 Fitness one time…very fun, indeed.

Well, there you have it.  10 tips for building your washboard.

No, I did not pack in all kinds of links and case studies and Yale physical science experiments to show this all works…really?  Get off your lazy ass and try something for a change!  We’re all lab rats already, shown by our food selection…we don’t need anymore studies…just do it!

Warning:  Do not attempt any exercises for your abs until you can control your eating habits.  I seriously do not want to hear that my advice is bullshit, and nothing works…while you shovel a huge pile of shit down your throat…disguised as food.

If your eating good, work these few exercises I listed above into your normal routine.  Split them up on different days and stay consistent!  With hard work, you can accomplish anything! (unless you have a shitty diet)

Kill it!!

-Mike.

Related posts:

1. Week 2, Day 4..wrapping up the food tips.
2. Week 2, Day 3…and 3 nutrition tips.
3. Super-duper Scientific Weight Loss Tips
4. 5 tips to lose 5 lbs in a week!
5. Where’s the beef? Veggie tips.